Idletry

Sitting here listening to some music I.ve not listened to in years brought back memories and emotion from that time in my life. I remembered the hope and desires of being in a band and or doing something in music where I would be elated to take the stage every night and perform my heart out. It made me see my life now with the eyes I had then. Idleness, is what I saw. I saw a man who was sitting on talent and pathos that could benefit mankind, and he was just sitting, doing nothing. All his energy and passion for music he had squelched with the ever smothering "idletry", the worship of being comfortable and idle. It was rather shocking and disappointing, I would yell at myself if I had seen this coming back then. What a jolt of realization.
Just the few seconds of the song and the singer's voice brought back the dream i had then and the passion for it. Looking at the passion of then and combining it with the passion God had given me for Himself, mixed with all the things I've learned of life these 26 years one would hope I could do good. I pray that that will be brought about by Him indeed. Nothing is sating me, nothing I want satisfies me, nothing I have gives me any drive or passion. It must come from the Lord! This whole thing is really showing me the emptiness that non-believers must feel. It always seems that when confronted with the emptiness they turn to anger or indifference, but ironically I know that they do care and are scared. Thank You Lord for this. Letting me see the fading glory that the world has(n't). My life is not over. My life is not my job. My life is not how feel right now. My life is not comfort. My life is in you Lord, you alone and no one or nothing else. Praise Be To You, oh God!! You truley are the One.