rollercoaster
Man, when you let God do things in your life and seek him, things do happen!! Everything just seems more positive. I think they call that feeling "hope", I almost forgot what it was like. A new day opens up in my heart and life has a little more light in it.
Ironically, I feel that I may have overstepped a line in a friendship and feel a little nervous about what comes next. Please pray for wisdom. It seems what I think I want, I don't, and now it most deffinetely is not the thing that'll make me happy. God's timing and guidance is truly the only way to go. My dilema is a little funny/strange. I started having a little crush on a girl at work who seemed to reciprocate the same. I find out inadvertently from her talking to someone else that she has a boyfriend and he happens to be a friend I haven't seen in a while. He was in jail and came back to the Lord ( only breifly, it seems). He really likes her and wants to be serious, based on his blog and song about her. He just got a DUI and arrested again, breaking his parole, therefore jail time is almost garunteed! He just tried to kill himself this week and has her all kinds of stressed and questioning her comitment, (don't blame her). She's told me bassically she doesn't know if she's gonna wait while he's in jail. She has invited me to a couple things without him, thankfully I've had to work. I am afraid that she will dump him for me, and I DON'T WANT THAT!!. For one, he is someone I want to minister to and she is a bit too young. A funny thing through this stress in her life is that I have been talking to her about God and giving her Christian music, etc. . So there is potetial for good and bad here. I WANT GOOD. I want him and her, sepperately, to come to God in a new way, for their sakes. I prayed for him a lot while he was in jail and to see him all down again is hard. He is my priority, not her, so I must draw a clear line for her. And this"crush" is only that and nothing that will materialize to more, she's just cute, smart and cool. She goes to a church but it doesn't seem serious to her.
But I still feel a good thing coming my way, unrelated to this friend thing, I am having song ideas, I can feel the juices flowing again, just a bit. I must yield to God everything in my heart and mind. He must be the one singing and writing, nothing else must be, or it becomes nothing else. To sing of his glory is my call and to make a joyful noise to bless my brothers and sisters in glorifying the Lord. What comes next only He knows, I must be ready and submit to Him.
Ironically, I feel that I may have overstepped a line in a friendship and feel a little nervous about what comes next. Please pray for wisdom. It seems what I think I want, I don't, and now it most deffinetely is not the thing that'll make me happy. God's timing and guidance is truly the only way to go. My dilema is a little funny/strange. I started having a little crush on a girl at work who seemed to reciprocate the same. I find out inadvertently from her talking to someone else that she has a boyfriend and he happens to be a friend I haven't seen in a while. He was in jail and came back to the Lord ( only breifly, it seems). He really likes her and wants to be serious, based on his blog and song about her. He just got a DUI and arrested again, breaking his parole, therefore jail time is almost garunteed! He just tried to kill himself this week and has her all kinds of stressed and questioning her comitment, (don't blame her). She's told me bassically she doesn't know if she's gonna wait while he's in jail. She has invited me to a couple things without him, thankfully I've had to work. I am afraid that she will dump him for me, and I DON'T WANT THAT!!. For one, he is someone I want to minister to and she is a bit too young. A funny thing through this stress in her life is that I have been talking to her about God and giving her Christian music, etc. . So there is potetial for good and bad here. I WANT GOOD. I want him and her, sepperately, to come to God in a new way, for their sakes. I prayed for him a lot while he was in jail and to see him all down again is hard. He is my priority, not her, so I must draw a clear line for her. And this"crush" is only that and nothing that will materialize to more, she's just cute, smart and cool. She goes to a church but it doesn't seem serious to her.
But I still feel a good thing coming my way, unrelated to this friend thing, I am having song ideas, I can feel the juices flowing again, just a bit. I must yield to God everything in my heart and mind. He must be the one singing and writing, nothing else must be, or it becomes nothing else. To sing of his glory is my call and to make a joyful noise to bless my brothers and sisters in glorifying the Lord. What comes next only He knows, I must be ready and submit to Him.
posted by Jason at 6:04 PM
1 Comments:
Yay! Praise God for renewed hope, I'm excited for this high that you're on! I'm really impressed with your heart concerning the girl and her boyfriend. Not easy, obviously but you have a really great perspective on it. Keep fighting for them and being there as an encouragement for her. Hopefully she won't do the typical girl thing and misinterpret it. Good luck my friend!
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