Born in the USA

I originally wondered who had the final say whether something was a high calling or important. The people who look at the job from the outside or the people doing the job? The whole celebrity phenomenom is something I've thought about for a while. The idea that someone or something is great or extraordinary seems to be almost completely subjective. I have befriended a few "famous"people over the past few years and have discovered the fame thing to be very amusing. They are the friends I know and they either have worked with or arefabulous musicians. They are nice guys and very enjoyable to be around. But to me they are just guys who have been in the right place at the right time and or happen to be very talented.

To see how people act around them is hilarious, because they just fumble or get red or talk to them as if they are superheroes. They themselves might not be so siked about what they do, or at least not as much as their fans are. So it begs the question, who decides what value something is? The people who look at the job or the people doing the job? I have played music very poorly and had people compliment me or say it was great. Who was right? Me or the listener. I know that if they were "impressed" then I was "effective", but is what they heard actually good?

So if the jobs I have done or do are percieved as good/important yet I don't feel they are, at what point do I decide or conceed?

I truly do understand where the writer of Ecc. was coming from. He was depressed/distressed/disillusioned. And so am I.

*hhhhhhhhhhhh* I don't mean to offend, just complain

That last post was a frustrated sigh. An exhale of thoughts and dreams with a little chuckle at the end. Mabey it was a laugh at myself. Maybe it was glance of "are you sure, man ?" at myself. I'm not sure. But really it was that I try to post photos and I get so pissed when it doesn't work then I give up.
I wish I could know what to do. Everything I think I want to do in life or actually try for a while, eventually I always end not seeing the point of even trying to do it. Like, any job, except for performing music (because I get almost no greater thrill in this life) I project myself doing, I can always see myself getting tired of it. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! So why does anybody do anything??? We work just to have money to live. And that job, aside from doctors and farmers, just seems so pointless. Even popular jobs that seem cool or important but all you ever do is just: design websites, crunch numbers(accountants,tellers, stock brokers), serve people(any customer service), argue for or against someone in court (lawyers), tell people things that were told to you (teachers), build things (construction), design things. All of those things seem so pointless, it's like endless and I would get so bored. And it's like WHAT'S THE POINT? Is that all there is in life???? Is that the only thing we have to look forward to is work???? We do our job and then what? We do our job again.
I know that wasn't an exhaustive list of jobs but really, anything can get there if I think it through to conclusion. Am I the only one who thinks like this? Am I crazy? Does anyone else see the almost pointlessness of life? It's like one big cosmic joke that man has played on itself! Perhaps I am just seeing the Curse clearly now. But whatever the case I just have lost all my sense of purpose and use. I make music, thats all I consistently enjoy, but I don't always feel like doing THAT.
I have lost my steam in learning French. I have a test tommorrow and I haven't looked at my books for two weeks. I am a fucking idiot. Well I always was a bad homework doer. I only ever did as much to squeek by, never more, never "to my potential"!! There really is no heavier burden to carry then the knowledge that I could do so much if I weren't so lazy. Then I get all these old people telling me to enjoy my youth and don't rush things, well count me in there, I certainly haven't rushed. N Nuff for today